You've just found out your partner is pregnant. Even though she is the one who's carrying the child, you may feel confused and uncertain, too. You might even be feeling a little scared because you're not sure what the next step should be.

Here's some quick advice that may be of benefit to you right now:

The Do's

1. Listen. The situation involves more than just you. There are now three lives to think about.
2. Stay calm. She needs your support now more than ever. She may be carrying the baby, but you are BOTH parents, and regardless of your relationship in the future, that baby needs you too.
3. Talk about it. Talk, not only with each other, but prepare to talk with parents and others close to the situation. Hiding the news from people who can genuinely help you only increases the stress.
4. Gather the facts. Get all the information and seek wise counsel so you can make the best decision for you both.
5. Express yourself honestly. It's normal to have feelings of anger, frustration and fear. But make sure she knows she is not alone.

The Don'ts

1. Don't bail. The more you run from this, the harder it becomes to think and act clearly.
2. Don't pressure her. Applying pressure will only push her away, possibly into a regretful situation. Both of you would do well to work as a team.
3. Don't forget. You have a very active role in this situation. Listen to input as well as express your thoughts.

 Marin Pregnancy Clinic is here to help you as well as your partner. As you weigh the different options, consider calling PRC Marin at 415-892-0558 or email at info@marinpregnancyclinic.org. You'll find a caring person trained to help you work things out and give you and your partner advice. We have a wealth of information and resources to support you and your partner, including information on your legal rights as a father.